Seasons of Love

it was when spring time came
i first noticed your breeze
and sat by my windows and noticed your color
how you gave a fresh breath of life to the leaves
how you so easily swayed my intentions,
so easily holding my attention
with your sweet offerings of flowers in bloom
and when summer came
i then noticed how our emotions increased
how you released your passion with the heat
and bathed my body with your sun drenched lust
and this lasted for awhile
taking shade from your power when i couldn't take anymore
but then fall came and you became cold and distant
let our leaves of hope fall to the ground
and i felt alone with the bare branches
you became dark, letting the clouds roll by
i finally took the hint and went inside when winter came
i felt when you hurled the harsh winds across the walls
and heard your howls of woe seeping through the cracks of my door
but one day i felt your calm
and i tried to embrace your new weather
so i stood at my door and looked out the window
and for a moment i thought i could see our new year coming
and i thought we could make it
until i came back and seen you'd left frost on the glass
and my vision was gone
it was then that i realized that our season had came and passed

Quiet

depression
long looks into the dark
closed up
encased in what dreams never came
and the life you never could make
and the despair
so much for you to carry on the heels of your feet
on your knees
crawling through the sludge of defeat
a loss you will never get over
alone in the dark
of your mind locked up tight
no one in or out or close by
deserted and left
alone
cold sting of injustice
or unfair treatment
whatever
it doesnt matter
not anymore
with the doors closed and your eyes shut
it all hurts the same
but does it hurt
or feel good
no longer do i know
no longer do i feel that rush from my spine
feelings burned off by that foreboding sense of loss
or confusion
whatever
it doesnt even matter
just four walls
and cold
and dark
is it even cold
you no longer know anymore
it doesnt matter anymore as you lie there on your back
heart and head towards the world that has forsaken you
on the life that never came
on those dreams you wished upon a star
that you'd wished it had became
no longer life was it to you
no longer true
no longer real
just time that you wanted to pass by
just quiet that became to loud for you to stand
and that ringing in your ears from your eyes that started when you saw that it wasnt the same
so you shut them out forever
your whole body a fortress entombed
and no longer would anyone get closer
but
whatever
it doesn't even matter anymore
that time has gone
you failed
the time
is gone
and it no longer matters anymore

my real answer

One night he asked me why him
So I had to begin
With the fact that his smile to me made the moon shine end
That his words to me were like Gods blessings shining in
And that his touch made me feel like I was too valuable to bend
Or damage
And that he managed for the most part to keep me happy
Never taking advantage of the fact that my love ran deep
That what we had was somethin that others couldn't compete
Or defeat
Defeated never were we cause we completed each other
At least in my mind we would always be needing each other
That even in our worst times we couldn't think but to confide in each other
That after 3 years I couldn't fathom another
To understand my lame jokes
And see how my genius provoked
That my genius I hoped
Wasn't part of his genius to promote
Me as the perfect woman that he hoped
I really was
And how even when I really wasn't dope
I really was
At least in his eyes
Never surprised by his willingness to give all he had
And to mold all his plans
Around the life I would demand
For a future only he could command
As a man
And that I could give him his throne
But he would build me one too
And that years down the line he wouldn't forget to say honey, this is all because of you
And it would be true
Because he knew
That his dreams would only work with the dedication of two
His god and his wife
Not his chick and his strife
But his companion and his true giver of life
And thats why him
Because in the future, ill get that place beside him
And even now, I'm why he lives
Because he's why I dream
And everyday to me it seems
That it will only get better in the days we still have yet to see
And that's what I wouldve said if I thought it all through
But instead
The only answer I could think to say was
Its because I love you.

Ardor

body language
analyzed and misconstrued
nervous sweats and faint twitches
eyes gleaming with excitement
with anticipation
and ecstasy
slow steps so not to stumble
grasping on that thin rail called self control
constricting urges
fighting temptation
forcing,
trying to constrain
but the body is stronger than the mind
brain too feeble for the heart
slowly delving into to that forbidden place
animalistic ideas that swarm your mind like angry wasps
desperately seeking shelter from yourself
and those urges
you change your stance
try to seem impenetrable
try to seem as if you can control
body language manipulated to hide true feelings
rosy cheeks and warm palms
too excited to hold back much longer
sweet aroma of what's desired
too many day dreams of what is desired
too many nightmares of whats desired
legs crossed at the ankles
arms to the side, taut, controlled
tied together by the sheer force of your will
but soon the knot will loosen
body language understood to be calm
to be in control
yes,
control
but the weight of "must" and "want" has you doubled over
and you struggle as the minutes do not fly by,
yet, they sit and watch you manage your counterfeit foreplay
time standing still
air thickened with warm anticipation of acts that will only occur in you mind
in the night
alone in your bed
but then it's over
now that long sigh of relief
and you gather yourself
and you walk away
a champion of your inner battle
bruised and battered by your infatuationp