Seasons of Love

it was when spring time came
i first noticed your breeze
and sat by my windows and noticed your color
how you gave a fresh breath of life to the leaves
how you so easily swayed my intentions,
so easily holding my attention
with your sweet offerings of flowers in bloom
and when summer came
i then noticed how our emotions increased
how you released your passion with the heat
and bathed my body with your sun drenched lust
and this lasted for awhile
taking shade from your power when i couldn't take anymore
but then fall came and you became cold and distant
let our leaves of hope fall to the ground
and i felt alone with the bare branches
you became dark, letting the clouds roll by
i finally took the hint and went inside when winter came
i felt when you hurled the harsh winds across the walls
and heard your howls of woe seeping through the cracks of my door
but one day i felt your calm
and i tried to embrace your new weather
so i stood at my door and looked out the window
and for a moment i thought i could see our new year coming
and i thought we could make it
until i came back and seen you'd left frost on the glass
and my vision was gone
it was then that i realized that our season had came and passed

Love Em

If Diddy can't do anything else, he damn sure can put out good r&b groups...even if he doesn't promote them well.

Life Changing Moments

You never really know how good forgiveness really is until you experience it first hand. I never thought that a weight so heavy could be lifted by the understanding and assurance of another. I love my family, I love my friends, and I love the life that God has granted me. To be forgiven for even the dumbest of mistakes is so profound beyond words. I would like to think now I will go about things in a much lighter way because I know not everyone is as blessed as this particular person. I just wanted to take time out to say that this person has my highest respect and gratitude because they were able to take their anger and hurt out of the picture and forgive me. They were able to look past my transgressions and see the person that I really am inside. Even though me and this person are not the closest in the world, this person has my love and my appreciation for life. Maybe things do happen for a reason; after this occurence, I can't imagine them not.

Life Lessons

So what do you do when you regret a good time in your life? I've made many mistakes in my days but I thought I had learned what was right and what was wrong. Everyone makes stupid mistakes that they know are wrong even while it's happening, but why is that usually never enough to stop it? In my case, I took the trust of someone I considered family and ruined it. I overstepped a major boundary, and even though I can say it was purely innocent, no malicious intent behind it, I know I deserve whatever actions or feelings I receive in return. I thought that after 18 years of life, and 4 years of the same type of trouble inflicted towards me, I would know what was the wrong thing to do when it came to another. I can only live with my mistakes and hope that I can be a better person for it. It's the worst thing in the world to be hated by someone that you love, especially when it is your fault. All I can say is life takes you in so many directions and the only thing that anyone can do is go with it.

"My heart was too shaky to maintain a stable relationship"

Louis...Lust

I wish I had 4k to spend on this bag...

smh...Pat Buchanan

Now I came across this video on YouTube tonight and was extremely disturbed by the content. No, its not violent or sexual, its political. What's disturbing about it? Just the blatantly racist remarks that spew from Mr. Buchanan's mouth about every 5 seconds. Now don't get me wrong, I totally understand the reservations people have about Sotomayor being nominated for the Supreme Court, but to say she only got the nod because she's a minority is totally ignorant and biased. I do believe in some cases affirmative action is wrong; however, if you look at the distribution of educational funding when it comes to more urban and poor areas compared to more Anglo, prestigious ones there's a huge gap. And even in Sotomayors case, Rachel Maddow brings up a good point in saying that AA didn't give her the grades she got at Princeton or give her the years of experience as an Appellate judge. Pat's egregiously offensive statement that white men were put into places of judgement because they were the ones that died and created this country was disgusting to me. The fact that he would completely ignore the participation of black men in the World Wars and ignore the fact that while the "forefathers" were writing these constitutions "their" country was being built on the backs of slaves and to the expense of the Native peoples made me cringe. For someone like that to have influence in the way our country is handled is very unnerving and makes me want to get involved more in my government's processes. Again, I think everyone has a right to their opinion and which way they chose to express that; but when you're apart of the leadership the most diverse country in the world, these types of ideas can only lead to a hindrance in progression.

Lyfe on Mars

ok, so i'm doing a little promoting here. i LOVE music but i never really get into the rap that comes out now a days; well, not until this came out. this dude Chuck Taylor is nice and worth a listen. my favs are Swangin' and Murder. you tell me what you think and download it if you like.

Murder - Chuck Taylor

Swangin - Chuck Taylor

the link to download it
http://www.datpiff.com/Chuck_Taylor_lyfe_On_Mars.m53364.html


theres also a YouTube page for the whole Clew Music family,

if you wanna see more.

Quiet

depression
long looks into the dark
closed up
encased in what dreams never came
and the life you never could make
and the despair
so much for you to carry on the heels of your feet
on your knees
crawling through the sludge of defeat
a loss you will never get over
alone in the dark
of your mind locked up tight
no one in or out or close by
deserted and left
alone
cold sting of injustice
or unfair treatment
whatever
it doesnt matter
not anymore
with the doors closed and your eyes shut
it all hurts the same
but does it hurt
or feel good
no longer do i know
no longer do i feel that rush from my spine
feelings burned off by that foreboding sense of loss
or confusion
whatever
it doesnt even matter
just four walls
and cold
and dark
is it even cold
you no longer know anymore
it doesnt matter anymore as you lie there on your back
heart and head towards the world that has forsaken you
on the life that never came
on those dreams you wished upon a star
that you'd wished it had became
no longer life was it to you
no longer true
no longer real
just time that you wanted to pass by
just quiet that became to loud for you to stand
and that ringing in your ears from your eyes that started when you saw that it wasnt the same
so you shut them out forever
your whole body a fortress entombed
and no longer would anyone get closer
but
whatever
it doesn't even matter anymore
that time has gone
you failed
the time
is gone
and it no longer matters anymore

why i call him the king of music

i really didnt know he could beat box until my sister's boyfriend told me it was his voice that was the music in one of his songs. this man was talented beyond any capacity and i'm sad he's gone. i cant wait for his last video coming in july. i'll just have to watch the old ones until then.

my real answer

One night he asked me why him
So I had to begin
With the fact that his smile to me made the moon shine end
That his words to me were like Gods blessings shining in
And that his touch made me feel like I was too valuable to bend
Or damage
And that he managed for the most part to keep me happy
Never taking advantage of the fact that my love ran deep
That what we had was somethin that others couldn't compete
Or defeat
Defeated never were we cause we completed each other
At least in my mind we would always be needing each other
That even in our worst times we couldn't think but to confide in each other
That after 3 years I couldn't fathom another
To understand my lame jokes
And see how my genius provoked
That my genius I hoped
Wasn't part of his genius to promote
Me as the perfect woman that he hoped
I really was
And how even when I really wasn't dope
I really was
At least in his eyes
Never surprised by his willingness to give all he had
And to mold all his plans
Around the life I would demand
For a future only he could command
As a man
And that I could give him his throne
But he would build me one too
And that years down the line he wouldn't forget to say honey, this is all because of you
And it would be true
Because he knew
That his dreams would only work with the dedication of two
His god and his wife
Not his chick and his strife
But his companion and his true giver of life
And thats why him
Because in the future, ill get that place beside him
And even now, I'm why he lives
Because he's why I dream
And everyday to me it seems
That it will only get better in the days we still have yet to see
And that's what I wouldve said if I thought it all through
But instead
The only answer I could think to say was
Its because I love you.

with the true greats slowly going away, we need more of this.

Silly Girls. . .

so lately i havent had much to do but work and chill. yesterday i had nothing better to do so i started reading random peoples blogs and saw a very funny trend when it came to some of the girl bloggers. so i know its good to have confidence and what not but these chicks were on a whole nother level.

ok, do get me wrong, i love when people are self sufficient and hardworking but why put pictures all over your blog with you and your money? i get it, you are doing well in these economic times but you and i both know that's not YOUR money and i really dont think your parents would be so happy about you flaunting THEIR money on the internet like an asshole. for those women who do what they have to do, grind everyday to make things better for yourself, this isn't to you.

as if that wasnt enough to turn someone off, these girls also thought it was the cute thing to sound like whores on their blog. again, i'm all for freedom of speech and i think every woman should be open and honest about their sexuality but theres a limit. No one needs to know how many dicks you've sucked and how much you swallow. no one needs to know how many men you've slept with. no one needs to know about any of that, THAT IS NOT SEXY! no man in their right mind will take you seriously if thats really how you present yourself. yeah, they'll think you're worth fucking, but thats all you'll ever be. it really make me sad and disappointed that this is what a lot of girls thinks is attractive and cool. if you feel that desperate that you stoop that low for attention, all i can do is pray for you and hope that you see that thats not the road you want to go down.

and if the blatant attempt to show that they are sex worthy wasn't enough, they had to try and humiliate others to show they were legit. one girl i came across had the nerve to put a conversation she had with one of her "haters" as she called it. what's so crazy about that you ask; the blogger and the "haters" conversation didn't humiliate anyone but the blogger. while trying to show that the "hater" was obsessed with her and wanted to be like her (the girl merely messaged her to clear up something that she had said about the blogger) she actually only embarrassed herself. The 'hater" called the blogger out, pointing out that every guy knew the blogger was just an easy fuck. I'm sorry, but how do you not see that putting that up wouldn't be a good look for you? i guess that girl was so caught up in her own grandeur that she believed everyone would see things her way.

i just don't get it. what's the point of making yourself look like a fool? and what kind of friends do they have that don't tell them that this isn't what they want to do. didn't their mothers or aunt or grandmothers, even their teachers ever tell them that they should respect themselves as well as their bodies. i really hope that these silly girls will figure that out much sooner than later.

Brandy vs Ciara

OMG, this crap is hilarious. Just watch

Ardor

body language
analyzed and misconstrued
nervous sweats and faint twitches
eyes gleaming with excitement
with anticipation
and ecstasy
slow steps so not to stumble
grasping on that thin rail called self control
constricting urges
fighting temptation
forcing,
trying to constrain
but the body is stronger than the mind
brain too feeble for the heart
slowly delving into to that forbidden place
animalistic ideas that swarm your mind like angry wasps
desperately seeking shelter from yourself
and those urges
you change your stance
try to seem impenetrable
try to seem as if you can control
body language manipulated to hide true feelings
rosy cheeks and warm palms
too excited to hold back much longer
sweet aroma of what's desired
too many day dreams of what is desired
too many nightmares of whats desired
legs crossed at the ankles
arms to the side, taut, controlled
tied together by the sheer force of your will
but soon the knot will loosen
body language understood to be calm
to be in control
yes,
control
but the weight of "must" and "want" has you doubled over
and you struggle as the minutes do not fly by,
yet, they sit and watch you manage your counterfeit foreplay
time standing still
air thickened with warm anticipation of acts that will only occur in you mind
in the night
alone in your bed
but then it's over
now that long sigh of relief
and you gather yourself
and you walk away
a champion of your inner battle
bruised and battered by your infatuationp

R.I.P Michael

I don't care what people say about him, you can't deny a legend. It is sad that he has died, he was the patriarch to what we call pop music today. I've enjoyed his music since before I could remember and I always will. First Farrah now Michael; it's a sad day for the American pop culture.

Mr. Witherspoon

I was looking for information about when the new season of the Boondocks would start up again (early 2010) and I came across this. The creator of the show has his own production company and they have a slew of mini videos like this one on YouTube. This is the last one they made and not even the funniest one.

His Truth

I wrote this a couple weeks ago at like 2 in the AM. I was trying to think of something to write about and for some reason Drake's "Night Off" came into my head (hence the first line). Hope you like.

he told me to set my bag down
relax a bit
he said it would be just fine
all alone he said
just the night air he said
he said it was just us and the sky

he said it would only take a second
he said it wouldn't hurt too bad
come next to me was what he said
he said come here lie back
all those words he said to me
he said they were nothing but from within
from the depths it came, from his heart he said
he said it was from his brain not the head

so i slid into his bed with him
just like he said i should do
he said a lot off things that night
most of which was never true
he said this would last forever
he said the things I wished for was comin true
a night in heaven is what he said to me
a night in hell was what really seeped thru

now he said it would be what i wanted
he said "now baby this is all for you"
not knowing what i was doing
he said being not ready was just the start, i'll learn what to do
"i never said it would be easy," he said
becoming a real woman is hard
he said in time i would see how good it really was
he said in time i would see how it really was

he lied when he said it would only last a night
a first that would be like learning how to walk
a silent line is what i heard on the other end of the phone
when i called and said "we need to talk"
a little girl they said i was before then
only 15 years to his, mine minus 10
i guess he didnt lie when he said this would make me a woman
but he never said this is how it would end

men told me a lot of things in my life
but what he said was what i thought to be true
he said we would be in this forever
but i guess he meant forever until the baby bump started to poke thru
he said love was a tru commitment
he said that sex was the only way to truly prove
now i am stuck with what he told me
alone in the world without a clue

Dead Prez Does It Again

So I was on World Star HipHop tonight and I came across this video of
Dead Prez giving this radio interview. They were talking about how Asher Roth wasn't needed in hiphop (which i agree fully) and how Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton aren't the spokespeople of the African American population (which i also cosign). I know it's hard for some people to understand, especially now-a-days, but this isn't how the black culture should be. No I'm no racist and I do think a lot of white people can rhyme; the problem is those aren't the one's getting signed. Dead Prez is the truth if there ever was one and this song they got Stimulus Plan is just more of what they do best. I swear I've listened to this song about 5 times within the past half hour and I still haven't gotten tired of it. Just listen if you don't believe me.

. . . Niggas

Why they had to rep Chicago???? smh